So I find myself back in hospital at A St, in the same ward I was in during May. Which makes it my 6th psych admission, though for the first time it’s not after being sent from the emergency department after an overdose but instead for an eating disorder. Or specifically, anorexia nervosa, though it still feels odd when they call it that as I don’t feel as though I’m thin nor sick enough.
On Tuesday I had gone to see my GP. “I can see you’ve lost a lot of weight, I almost didn’t recognise you,” she said, which I thought was a bit of an exaggeration. I weighed in at 35.4kg and according to her records, the last time I’d been weighed in her office I was 43.6kg. She requested for me to get my bloods done, after which I started experiencing nausea, dizziness and my vision started going fuzzy. They put me in a wheelchair so that I could be taken to a bed to lay down. My blood glucose at the point was 3.7 which according to GP was quite low, and my blood pressure dropped to 76/40. “I’m not surprised you fainted,” she told me, after quizzing me on what I had eaten the previous day & the weight I had lost.
On Wednesday morning I had an appointment with the psych registrar at A St. She again kicked me out if the room while she consulted with her consultant then told me they wanted me admitted to hospital. I agreed this time as I did not want to be put under the Mental Health Act and really, I’m just tired of it all. I went home to pack my things and in the afternoon returned to be admitted to the ward. The medical doctor on the team did a physical check up on me, and they also had the results of my blood test back. They were all quite normal, except my white blood cell count was just a little bit low. Which again made me feel like I’m not sick enough to require hospital and don’t need to be here.
After lots of waiting around I was finally taken to the ward. A nurse did the admission paperwork and took my observations, and also did an ECG. She’s a recent graduate and was nice which was good as we both had a bit of a laugh when it came to doing the paperwork and her having to ask me about using weapons, wanting to harm others, and my non-existent drug and alcohol habits. “It’s good to do groups,” she said, in which I just laughed in response.
This morning I was seen by the doctors. My current BMI is about 14 and he reckons an ideal BMI would be around 20. I disagreed and told him that would be too high. “How about we make a goal for you to gain 10kg?” He asked. How about no. I was told I’d have to have daily blood tests to check I don’t develop refeeding syndrome. Given I really dislike needles and blood tests, I was not pleased to hear this. I asked him how long I’d likely be here, he said probably a couple of weeks.
Then met with the dietitian who said that they will do a meal plan for me and also give me nutritional drinks in the form of Ensure.
Unfortunately me being in hospital meant that I missed the last session of emotional regulation group. It also means missing uni and having to cancel with work, and they did not sound happy when I did so