I had a meeting with the OT course coordinator/my gerontology tutor on Monday. Considering she’s been the contact person during all three hospitalisations in my over a year of studying OT, I was afraid of her thinking me too mental to do this course. After all, there’s been a couple of OTs I met in hospital who haven’t had the most positive response when they’ve found out I’m studying to become one of them. She was lovely though and accommodating and helpful. I don’t need something as drastic as being in hospital to ask for an extension on things if I’m struggling, she told me. Oh. But still, I’d feel guilty and hesitant in doing so. She also suggested getting an Access Plan done up through the Uni Disability Office, which is used to provide to lecturers and the such if I for example need an extension, without having to go into detail about my situation. If I did decide to go that route though, a letter from a medical practitioner or psychologist is required. Given my current, self-imposed situation of not having one, that poses a bit of a problem. And even if I did, I’m afraid of people thinking I’m taking advantage and using my mental health issues as an excuse. I was also asked by the course coordinator whether I have someone to talk to for support. “Err…I’m meant to be seeing someone,” I answered. Before I told them all to eff off. Heh.
Oh, and regarding the email I sent D? He hasn’t replied. Apparently if you tell someone to bugger off, there’s a good chance they will in fact bugger off. Hah, who could’ve known? I was curious about how he’d respond to my email, but never mind. I did receive a text message from my GP’s office this morning though informing me I missed their call and to please ring them back. I haven’t. Too much of a coward, I am. I know I’ll have to see her sooner or later for my meds, but I’m dreading being questioned on what the hell I’m doing by refusing to see a psychologist and psychiatrist and how I plan to stay safe and get well otherwise. Lol, beats me. Oh yeah, and the fact that the day straight after I saw her for an appointment, I went and overdosed on the meds she wrote me a script for. My bad :/ But, I am a pro at avoidance and if I keep putting the problem off, it’ll go away eventually, right?