I used to think it’s difficult to get yourself admitted to a mental health ward. But it seems as though once you’ve had one admission, they don’t hesitate so much to chuck you in the nuthouse again. And again.
I took almost a month’s worth of Seroquel and a few days worth of Pristiq. Considering I’m only on a low dose of Seroquel, it’s not that much. Yet, according to my father, the nurse told him I was close to having a seizure.
My memory of what happened is rather hazy. I was asleep for about 20hrs, punctuated by moments of consciousness here and there. I remember dropping to the floor as soon as the paramedics tried to get me to walk. Them carrying me even though they weren’t supposed to because they can hurt themselves, but apparently I’m light enough to do so anyway. Having two cannulas put in me, one on each arm, and an oxygen mask. A doctor giving me sternal rubs whilst asking me questions. No I can’t answer you because I’m too distracted by the pain of you grinding your knuckles up and down my chest. The psych liaison nurse asking me if I remembered him from last time I was in the ED. I confirmed I did. “Don’t come into hospital then if you don’t want help,” he told me. “I didn’t choose to come to hospital,” I retorted. “So your mum did when she called the ambulance.” “Yes.” “Very passive,” he remarked. I remember talking briefly to a psych doctor with him suggesting I be admitted for a few days and me stating I’d rather just go home. Next thing I know, I wake up and they’re already organising a bed for me. I again told the psych liaison nurse I’d rather go home. He explained the doctor wanted me admitted and it’d be better to go in for a few days now rather than end up in ED again and have a longer psych ward stay as a result. I reluctantly agreed.
I was transferred by ambulance to M St where I am currently. Met with the duty doctor. And yes, I again told him I think I’d be better off at home. “But you only just got here and you want to leave already?!” he said, laughing slightly. Um, yes. My treating team will see me on Monday though it seems, and it will be decided then where to from here.