Lesson learnt

I could feel depression enveloping me last week in its blackness and bleakness. What was frustrating was I had no idea why.  If I knew, at least I could understand and perhaps try to fix it. As it was though, nothing particular had happened. I just felt low, tired and unmotivated. I hypothesized maybe it’s because Uni is looming closer and closer. Why is it I’m feeling better this week though when the commencement of Uni is even closer still?

I had an appointment with D on Wednesday. He asked me how my mood has been and whether I had self harmed. I reported I felt okay and had not self harmed this week, though I had last week when I wasn’t feeling so great. He said that when one felt low it’s usually something that has happened to cause it. That’s the thing though. There was nothing I could point my finger to and say, “Aha, that’s the reason why.”

It only came to me today whilst I was daydreaming on the bus. It was so simple I couldn’t believe I hadn’t realised this sooner. Or maybe I can believe it, after all, I’m still surprised and a bit doubtful that 50mg can make that much of a difference.

My GP was away for the whole of last week. She told me on Monday when I saw her that she had gone to Vietnam. Unfortunately last week was when I needed to see her to get my prescription for a month’s worth of Pristiq. I resorted to taking 150mg instead of my usual 200mg for a whole week, even so, by the time my appointment rolled around I only had three 100mg tablets left.

It’s made me realise that the Pristiq perhaps is working. I wasn’t sure before. I learnt, yet again, messing with your meds is not a good idea. Though I wouldn’t have if I’d had enough in the first place. I also learnt that when you’re directed to swallow the tablets whole and not split or chew them, there’s probably a really good reason why. Ha, who could’ve known…

Now I’m torn as to what to say at my upcoming psychiatrist appointment. Do I say the Pristiq is to some extent working and I want to stay on it? But then, what would be the point of attending a psychiatrist appointment? May as well just keep collecting the same scripts from my GP.


9 thoughts on “Lesson learnt

  1. I would say an absolute yes that you tell the psychiatrist that the pristiq is working. There is no point going if you don’t tell them. How can they help you with all your other stuff if you leave that bit out. I know you don’t like psychiatrists but I really think you could benefit going. Yes you haven’t ever bonded with one but it doesn’t mean you won’t, you need to give them a chance and one day you need to let someone in. I don’t mean to be harsh but you seem to keep most people at an arms length and only tell them things you think they need to know without thinking that they might be able to help you. Please don’t be upset or hurt by what I have said, but I am only thinking of you and how much you could benefit 🙂

  2. Pingback: This Week In Mentalists – Purple Monkey Dishwasher edition « This Week in Mentalists

  3. Glad you found the reason, and it is something which can easily be fixed too. Hope you’re feeling better soon. I would say definitely go to your appointment, and tell your psych – they’re the experts in monitoring your meds & mood, and it is important for them to see what a difference 50mg has made, and that the med is working for you. Take care, and keep writing xx

  4. yep I agree, tell psyc dr bout meds. it helps to know what does make a difference, and then can use that info to help you further. and helps build up trust/therapsutic relationship.
    hope you get some more so you’re taking the right dose soon.
    tag x

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