Of all the days in the year, New Years is the one I hate the most. It’s a reminder that I’ve lived through another year I didn’t intend to. There’s feelings of sorrow when I think of all the tough times that I’ve had. The tears and desperation. Nights of self harm. ED visits and hospital admissions.
I’ve never been able to start the year with the same psychologist I had the year before. Next year I am seeing D, the hospital psych again, but he’s only temporary. I’m still waiting on the youth counselling agency to take me on.
Yet, it hasn’t all been bad. I started studying OT and despite the doubts I have at times, I think I may have found the career for me. I passed all my units. Passed without any supp exams. Passed despite having to defer assessments and exams both semesters due to being in hospital.
I’ve also continued to volunteer with hs and RO, the two youth mental health organisations I’m involved with. I met Professor Pat McGorry. I flew to Sydney to attend workshops. Attended various events and experienced great opportunities.
And so I say a bittersweet farewell to 2011. There’s been ups and downs and tears and triumphs. Hopefully 2012 brings an alright year for us all x