How do people do it? How do people progress through life with such competence and confidence? Or are they just talented actors, able to hide their fears and their doubts? Sometimes it feels as though everyone is equipped with the tools to deal with the challenges life throws at them, except me.
I was talking to a friend last night who’s been here in Australia for five months on exchange from the US. Another wants to move to Canada for further studies after she completes high school despite knowing no one there. How do they find the courage to do that? And it doesn’t even take such major changes to terrify me. Even the little things can start to invoke waves of anxiety and fear. Contacting someone through email or phone. Asking for assistance. Entering unfamiliar situations. Having to learn new things and complete tests and assignments. Asking questions and speaking my opinion. Starting and maintaining conversations with people. All in the comfort of the place I grew up in.
Semester one of uni has come to a close and the new semester starts in July. Already I’m feeling the nerves. Having to walk into new classes, learn new material, complete all the work and study requires, starting fieldwork…
So how do I survive life when every little thing scares me and prompts me to want to run back into the hidey-hole that is my room? I wish I had the ability and confidence I perceive everyone else to posses instead of being a shy, timid and awkward coward.