Temazepam- to sleep, not to OD

Besides the reasons I’ve already mentioned regarding why I do not want my mother keeping and dispensing my medication, I’ve discovered yet another reason why this idea is not to my liking.

I’ve been prescribed temazepam PRN to help me sleep. My mother however, does not quite approve of taking sleeping pills, claiming they are addictive. She does have reason, her father took benzos to aid his sleep and was ‘addicted’ in the sense that he could not get to sleep without them. It doesn’t mean she won’t give them to me, but she has said that I “shouldn’t/can’t have them everyday,” depending on how you translate the Mandarin. And I’m not even able take a few to store myself so that I can have it when required as prescribed either. She’s moved my medication from where it was being stored in the kitchen cupboard to her room and gone so far to label ALL the medication boxes in the house with how many pills each contain.

Sighs. It’s not as though I even want to overdose right now. My moods have not been as low as they had been, perhaps the Pristiq is working? I just want to get decent nights of sleep gosh dammit!

13 thoughts on “Temazepam- to sleep, not to OD

  1. So it’s up to her if you can take one or not…? o_o but sleep is important in maintaining a stable mood…:(
    Well, I hope you can manage getting a good sleep every night, yeah? xo

  2. Now that has to suck! I can’t imagine having someone take my meds, label the amounts and then not allow me to take them as required. You must be going out of your mind. All I can say is I hope the pristiq is working and you are starting to feel better and I hope with that comes better sleeping on your own. Thinking of you!

    • great feedback and advise.
      i know only too well what it feels like to be stigmatized as an addict. i was first prescribed anti depresants and different benzo’s for 27 years.

  3. that must really be annoying. i guess maybe you could try and think-she wouldnt bother if she didnt care about you. Its just going to be a matter of gaining her trust again surrounding this. and i imagine that it will take a while. Home treatment team used to dispense my meds to be daily and watch me take them when they had worries surrounding me OD’ing. and it took months of being honest about how i felt and taking the right steps-like calling someone when i felt bad, to eventually get a prescription from my GP that was for more than a weeks worth of meds. it was a bitch, but it did give me a safe space in which to think.

    try talking to your mum again about maybe having 1 or 2 temazepam pills to dispense to yourself should you need them late at night. are you taking it for anxiety, or just to help with sleep?cos if you cant take it as needed for anxiety, you could explain to your mum that its exasperating the condition-by making the anxiety awful before she caves and gives you meds. or show her that you are trying other ways to sleep-relaxation, reading , candles, all that stuff. i know that its a ll a bit airy fairy DBT-ish, and noone resents self help books as much as me-but maybe if she saw that you were taking these steps, she would be more willing to take middle ground with you. maybe you could agree to tell her that you needed to take it or whatever.

    i used to take temazepam to help me sleep. do you find it helps?i used to need a HUGE dose to get to sleep, and then i would feel like i had the worlds most hideous hangover when i woke up the next day.

    im glad that the prestiq is kicking in.

    and if nothing else works tell her there is no way that you can do a day at uni wothout a decent nights bloody sleep!!

    take care love xxx

  4. Whilst it sucks to have your mother dish out your meds, and you have my sympathies with that, since I would really, really hate it. I would like to add a word of caution about benzos – they are addictive. And quite easily so, I know plenty of people who were prescribed them in hospital and within a few weeks-months they couldn’t stop taking them, not because they “couldn’t sleep”, but rather because they get sweats, chills and the full range of symptoms. You’ll also find that they don’t help with sleep long term (and there are certainly better drugs for helping with sleep than tamazepam anyway and I remember thinking this when I first read you were prescribed it, in the clinic). But long-term taking it won’t help you sleep, just not taking it, even if you don’t go into full-blown withdrawal, will leave you unable to sleep. I’m not saying to stop it, it’s not my place to even if I was. Just be careful. Because you’ve enough to worry about with mental health problems and university study and dealing with your family, without adding to it. Occasional use is for bad nights is probably going to be more helpful in the long term than taking each night, although I still believe it should be up to you to decide exactly when.

    Take care,

  5. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. I think it will just take time–time for your mom to ease up a bit and allow you to control your own supply of meds, time for the anti-depressant to fully work. Maybe once it finally kicks in, you won’t need the Benzos to sleep. Like others have said, they are very addicting. I take them daily for my social anxiety, and I desperately want to get off because I’m afraid of becoming addicted. I also don’t find them very helpful for sleep. Sure, it’s easy to fall asleep, but I feel terrible in the morning. I can sleep like ten hours if I wanted but I never feel rested. Plus, I feel hungover and have a slight metallic taste in my mouth for a few hours in the morning.

  6. Does your mom watch you take your meds? Maybe you could keep asking for the sleeping pills but save them for times when you really need them. It’s so tempting to want to take them everyday but believe me, it’s not worth it in the long run. Even if you tell yourself that 3 days a week, you can take one but that the rest of the time you HAVE to use other strategies to sleep.

    • I think my reply came off in the wrong way. I was trying to share that when you get “on” sleep meds, regardless of if their benzos or others, it can be sooooo hard to get off them. Even when I physically run myself into the ground and am exhausted, I still need sleep meds. I really wish that you do not end up with the same problem – especially since you are still so young! I feel for you and the lack of control you have about meds 😦

  7. I hope the Pristiq is a good drug for you. I can be hard for some of us to find something that’s effective, the side effects of which don’t make it difficult to function. For the other issues, I wish you and your mum and your shrink could all sit down and have an honest discussion in which, among other things, it was fully acknowledged that you are an adult and need to be treated like one

    (but also that your past ODs do show a risk for future ODs, and if you die the quick death of an accidental suicide or the slow death from liver failure or some other long-term consequence, death would mean the absolute end of opportunities to heal and have a real life [and I want you to live, because I like and admire you, to the extent that I know you through this blog {which means something … when I watch you struggle with this horrible stuff, in some ways I’m looking in a mirror, but I’m looking at someone I like more than I like myself, and I have trouble sometimes believing I have a reason to live, so it’s like in seeing value in you and acknowledging and empathizing with your pain, I’m showing compassion to myself and exhorting myself to live ::with the whole mirror thing … does that make sense? is this getting too long-winded and confusing and parenthetical?:: in a way that I cannot if it’s just me and myself in the conversation. So what would I do without you?}], so maybe you need some degree of protection from yourself until your past trauma is sufficiently resolved to allow you to heal.)

    but it sounds like there would be resistance to that idea. anyway, benzos can be useful, I think, but the others are right that one needs to be careful (as with all meds, but a little more, just awareness and good decision making) … but there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing some research, finding something else you would like to try & discussing it with your doctor. At least, here in the States, health care has taken on such a consumer-oriented model that the “customer is always right” (except when s/he is really really wrong) and even a poorly informed patient can usually walk away with whatever s/he wants (certain classes of drugs excluded of course). Is it the same in Australia?

    • Yes, I think understand what you are trying to say in that paragraph. Thank you.

      That’s an interesting theory that patients can usually walk away with what they want. I’m not sure about in Australia, I’ve never tried…. When doctors prescribe drugs, they have to be for ‘approved’ reasons though in order for government subsidies to help pay for the drug. For example, Seroquel is approved only for schizophrenia and bipolar I- I have friends who don’t have these illnesses who take Seroquel and they have to pay over $100 whereas for approved illnesses it’s only $34. I’ve been considering Seroquel as I’ve had that as PRN for sleep/anxiety before but I don’t know…

      I wonder if it’s good practice though for patients to be able to walk away with what they want most of the time…hmm…

  8. seems silly to me. how can you be expected to assume a healthy responsibility with meds when u have a constant reminder that you are expected to be incapable? giving the control to someone else wont help you to learn how to handle them. sigh….i hope you are well btf. xxxxxx

  9. I’m currently on Pristiq 50mg, one pill a day. I’m a female, 37 years of age, single and no children. I found the first week or two hard and unsettling but I’m into my 45th day now and it’s the best thing I ever did. I don’t suffer any negative side effects now. The positives are I’ve lost weight, which I needed to do and my skin has completely cleared up of any acne, to which I’ve had for years, since adolescence. I’ve just had an episode of depression which was a situational matter, a court appearance and it’s 9 month proceedings. But I handled it very well, by calling Emergency and admitting myself into hospital overnight for monitoring. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink and I certainly lead a healthy lifestyle at all times. Anyone or anything that’s toxic to my welfare, is struck out of my life, except what I cannot control ie the current court matter at the moment. I have one person who I can turn to for any support throughout my depression and court matters. My home is a safe, clean, healthy and pleasant environment. My cat is also great in my emotional and psychological happiness. I currently write books and paint. One of my books is a daily journal of my depression and commencing my current course of medication. I hope i can help shed some hope to anyone reading this but there is hope, if your heart is open to survive, despite the struggles along the way. Surround yourself with good people and get rid of toxic people. Lots of Love to all.
    Sasha Chambers

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