Family meeting occurred this afternoon between my parents, Dr T and I. I’m left so freakin’ peeved. It’s not what was actually said, though being talked about as if you weren’t there is always uncomfortable. No, it was more Dr T’s suggestion to my mother. She suggested that my mother take care of my medications, give it to me each morning and make sure I’m taking it. She did acknowledge that it doesn’t stop me from going out and purchasing my own medicines, stashing it and taking an overdose. She could tell I wans’t keen on the idea at all. But that still didn’t stop her from suggesting it. So flipping angry. I do take my medication each morning, no more, no less. Okay, well, unless I feel the urge to overdose. But otherwise, I do and had been taking it as prescribed. ARGH. I so do not appreciate being treated in such a condescending manner, for eff’s sake, I can look after my own medication. I am an adult. Furthermore, if I really wanted to die, I wouldn’t take SSRIs, SNRIs or benzos. The angry, childish part of me wants to take another OD of medications not prescribed to me, just to prove that I can and they can’t stop me. Gdjshnjsjfjkdfndhfafhj. Massively pissed off.
Other things said included my father mentioning that this [my ODing] has happened four times already. Couldn’t help smirking a little. Forth? Try tenth. Dr T also mentioned the delay in getting me admitted, as I didn’t used to have private health insurance, she didn’t realise I now do and how the public wards, such as the one I was on last time, are a bit different as they don’t admit you for very long. What she neglected to mention that as well as not admitting you for very long, public wards are well…absolute holes. As another patient said to me this morning, “They [the other patients] just don’t understand how easy it is here compared to public wards.” We swapped stories and experiences. I’ve found that the majority of patients here have not been admitted to public psychiatric wards before and have only ever been at private clinics. Lucky them.
My parents enquired as to how long I’d be likely to need medication, and how much longer I’d be an inpatient here. Dr T replied at least a year, possibly two in regards to the medication, and at least another week as an inpatient. Another week? Bah. A little bit over being an inpatient here, or as another patient so aptly put it, being ‘incarcerated’. Had a mighty laugh at that description when a patient utilised it in group. “Well no, voluntarilly,” the psychologist running the group protested.
Friends I made in the first University course attempted came to visit for the first time. Though at the beginning a bit awkward, especially when I was questioned as to how I ended up here in the first place, it was nice catching up and having a chat.
I’ve obtained day leave tomorrow to attend Uni, on the condition that I be dropped off and picked up by my parents. Dr T has written me a letter to hand in as part of my request for an extention;
Re: Ms BtF
This is to state that Ms BtF is under my care and currently an inpatient at H Clinic for further treatment for her depression and anxiety. She has had a severe relapse of this in the preceding 4-6 weeks, eventually needing admission on 06/05/2011 as an acute admission. I would be grateful if the University could take into account her illness and provide an extension period to complete assignments due to mitigating factors above.
Wow, I’m so thrilled to be handing in a letter containing the phrases ‘severe relapse’ and ‘acute admission.’ Makes me sound a bit of a nut case. Still, I suppose that could work to my advantage in being granted extensions. Not so much in proving I am a competent OT student though. Heh.