After four days of I-am-going-to-cut-off-my-nose-to-spite-my-face-by-not-taking-my-medication, I have finally given in and taken my medication today on the fifth day. Though only 15mg of Lexapro instead of my usual 20mg.
I read the comments and feedback on my previous post, which are always very much appreciated. Though I do feel guilty for being a bit slack as of late for being more of a lurker as opposed to an active commenter (sorry… :/). NOS hit the nail on the head in what she said- that I’m punishing myself because I feel as though others have let me down.
The general consensus seems to be that withdrawing suddenly = bad, and I must say, after four days of withdrawal hell, I have to agree. Should’ve listened, but no, I had to learn the hard way. Y’all are too nice, what I probably deserved was a good slap on the face and a ‘Just take your medication as it’s prescribed to you and stop being an idiot!’
I was searching on the internet a couple of days back and came accross a question asked on Yahoo! Answers. The question was, “Can you die from Lexapro withdrawal?” I admit I laughed when I read this question initially. But it got less amusing, as I became more inclined to ask the same question.
I feel like a bit of a knob now. Going through all those physical symptoms of withdrawal; my body feeling sore, hot flushes, my head hurting, brain zaps, not to mention the crying and the irritability, just to get right back on it again?
I also feel a bit weak for giving in to those withdrawal effects- couldn’t I have just beared it until they passed? But as in the example of today- working a seven hour day from 8am-3pm as well undertaking as a three hour Mental Health First Aid training course from 4:30pm-7:45pm WHILE also battling nasty withdrawal effects isn’t really the most intelligent idea.
Having had taken my dose of Lexapro today, I once again feel physically fine. Which goes to show how accustomed my body has become to getting its daily dose of chemical…
Anyway, I think I’ve learnt my lesson- ain’t going to be trying that again for a little while. Not looking forward to what happens when I try to go off the medication for real though….