Considering changing psychologists

I had an appointment with my psychologist today, the first time in a month. The session finished about twenty minutes earlier than usual. Why? We just ran out of topics, the conversation came to a standstill. A month between today’s session and last, and we couldn’t even fill that allocated fifty minute timeslot. I think that says a lot about the connection between G and I. Or lack of.

Today was the sixth session with her. In those six sessions, it feels like I’ve made no progress and am getting nowhere. She’s nice and all, but it’s just not working. I mean, finishing twenty minutes early, when we haven’t caught up in a month? Seriously? And even in that thirty minutes we did spend together, not much was achieved. I updated her on what has been going on in my life recently, and that’s about it.

It may be understandable my appointment finishing early had things been going well and as a result, there’s nothing to discuss. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Work is shit. My father’s shit. Cried and cut three times this past week- twice in the toilets at work, and once while at home. The crying part is quite an achievement, so to speak, considering the Lexapro renders me numb and unable to shed tears majority of the time. I haven’t caught up with any friends since late August, which leaves me feeling lonely and isolated. Life has not been fine and dandy. But what’s new?

My next appointment with her is in about a month’s time, on November 13.

I’m contemplating asking for a switch. Whether I will follow through with actually asking though? Well. That’s another matter.

All my life I’ve attempted to; cause as least trouble as I could, offend as little people as I could, avoid confrontation as much as possible. I’m tempted to follow the same line of reasoning in this situation, and cause as little trouble as possible. I know my advice to someone in my position. It would be, “You deserve to see someone you get along with, who is able to help you. Asking for a change is not asking for trouble, it’s asking for a better fit so that you can recover.” Easier said than done, however.

My last psychologist, I felt as though we were talking about what she thought we should discuss, and I didn’t get the opportunity to bring up what I needed to bring up. But with her, at least it felt like some progress was made, and we were able to fill that fifty minutes. With my current psychologist though? When I’m given the opportunity to talk about what I need to talk about, my mind draws a blank, and there ends up being nothing to discuss as a result. Nothing to discuss equals no progress at all. Where is the balance? Or maybe it’s not the psychologist that’s the problem…maybe it’s me.

My next appointment with my psychiatrist in on November 9. She was the one who referred me to G, so I may consider asking her for a referral to someone else. Maybe. If I can gather the courage. Though doing so would feel as though I’m going behind my G’s back. Bringing it up with G herself though? Requires even greater courage, courage which I don’t possess. Either way it’s going to be difficult. Or I can take the easy way out and continue seeing G. Even if it does leave me feeling dissatisfied and not very hopeful for recovery.

7 thoughts on “Considering changing psychologists

  1. hey, this is totally your decision. But throughout the last few posts you have portrayed G in a negative way kinda like u don’t like her, dont trust her and don’t agree with some of her methods of treatment. So maybe you do need to change. but i also think that it’s not going behind her back so much.. i would be petrified to tell someone i dont get on with them esp a professional… so telling your psychiatrist would still be expressing you dislike of G and you could talk it through to see what to do. but as i said thats just me. i hope if u really want to change psychologists u do, talking to someone u dont like can be worse than not talking at all. lots of love xxx

    • Well she asked me what I wanted to do when we ran out of conversation. She asked whether I wanted to end early, or go through some skills… I told her I didn’t know and left it for her to lead. And so we finished early.

  2. hey. i’m just about finished with my master’s in counseling and my firecrackers went off when i read this. from a client’s perspective, you want to say something as soon as you feel any discomfort whatsoever with the service/empathy you are or are not getting from your therapist. from the perspective of the therapist, it comes down to if she sees this as an improvement in your status or if she is not being able to motivate you to act on your own. therapy is a tool and the therapist is only the facilitator – we have to do most of the work and it can be uncomfortable. it’s your job to say “why are you just sitting there? shouldn’t you be asking me questions or helping me get through something?” loaded questions like that (that might be going through your head but aren’t being vocalized by you) need to come out. it’s not her job to pull your teeth. on the other hand, some therapist will do that.
    i heard you say something about a psychiatrist. there job is totally different. most just do the medicinal thing.
    bottom line: if you want a therapist to be forward and active with you – you have to “initiate” it so they know that you have the desire to change and be actively involved in your therapy.
    i hope i made some sense.
    i wish you the best of luck
    ps. this is something she should’ve discussed with you on the first visit; explaining to you what her “style” is.

  3. Hey, maybe you could write down a list of things you want to talk about as time moves closer to seeing her so you won’t forget to talk about some things. You could keep it with you all the time, maybe a notebook even and at least then you can flip through some notes. Also if I find it hard to say something to my psychiatrist I write him a note and give it to him and then we talk about it. I know that sounds silly but it works for me. I hope you can sort this out. It sucks when you feel like you aren’t getting what you need.

  4. I can relate to not wanting to cause any problems. But I think we have to remember that therapy is supposed to be for US, not for the psychologist. It’s not our job to protect their feelings. And I’m sure G has heard what you want to say before.

    Of course, it’s up to you what you want to do. But just remember to put yourself first, no matter how difficult it seems.

    Wishing you well,

  5. I think you can express your concerns when you see your psychiatrist, and ask her opinion, without actually saying you want to see someone else. Explain just what you have written in this post – that you couldn’t fill the session, didn’t know if it was her at fault or you or lack of rapport etc, but that you are concerned that you won’t make any progress blah blah, and see what she says. She might suggest something. Is your psychologist doing a particular type of therapy with you? If not, maybe something more structured would be a good idea – maybe CAT or something would be worth a try? xxx

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