“You’re bringing your mother along.”

I’ve decided I am going to resume writing here as usual, despite a few people I know in real life possibly having access to my blog address. Posts I had temporarily made private while considering what to do have been restored once again. I’ve already moved once to attempt to deter those pesky stalkers, they’re not driving me out of my home once again. If you are reading this and you do know me, I ask that you please respect my anonymity, do not go spreading the word about my mental health issues or link anyone else to this blog, and avoiding even visiting this URL if you can help it. The purpose of this blog was not to parade out my entire life story in it’s sordid detail to everyone I know, it was to provide a space for me to write about what has been going on in my life, a place to be honest and a place to connect with other mental health bloggers.

I have far too much on my mind to stay away.

It’s been exactly a week since I was in hospital. It’s been on my mind a fair bit, and today I remembered something the hospital psychiatrist said, a comment which I had previously forgotten about. In addition to saying that there are problems with ‘some aspects of her [my] personality’, he also told my mother that I’d require ‘long term psychotherapy.’ HAHAHA. Long term psychotherapy indeed. Guess he doesn’t believe I will recover any time soon. Thank you for your vote of confidence. There goes my plan of discharging myself from mental health services…

On one hand, it gives me justification for seeing my psychologist and psychiatrist. Yes I do need help, a supposed ‘expert’ has said so. Long term psychotherapy though? Long term psychotherapy? What does that even mean? That I’ll be in therapy for years and years, or even the rest of my life? I put off seeking help for my mental health issues for years and years because I thought my problems ‘weren’t serious enough.’ So since when did I become someone who’s viewed as being severe enough to warrant needing ‘long term psychotherapy’? It scares me it’s come to this. It really does.

In a previous post, I have mentioned that I realised I gave Dr T’s secretary the wrong phone number for which to contact me. Today, I finally gathered the courage to pick up that damn thing called a phone, and make a call to her consulting rooms. The secretary advised me that an appointment has been made for me on Tuesday 14th of September. She also told me, ‘Dr T has asked me to remind you that you’re bringing your mother along.’ I paused, followed by a surprised ‘Oh.’ ‘Yes,’ she said, and gave a small laugh. Well I’m glad you’re amused, because I’m certainly not. My mother coming along is news to me. In other words, it is not something I had previously discussed with Dr T. I have discussed it with G (my psychologist) before, who encouraged me to bring my mother along to an appointment with either with her or Dr T. I let her know that I am not very keen on the idea. Yet I have now been pushed into doing so. NOT HAPPY. How is Dr T’s secretary even ‘remind[ing]’ me? According to the dictionary definition of the word ‘remind,’ it means ‘to cause [a person] to remember.’ I don’t remember, because oh yeah, I wasn’t even told of this intention of having my mother come along in the first place.

My mum has yet to meet either Dr T or G. This course of action was taken purposefully. I had intended on keeping it that way. I guess that’s all about to change…

Dr T letting me know via her secretary. Good tactic. Well done. It means that I do not have the chance to argue with her or refuse. I should just NOT bring my mother along, as an indignant ‘bugger that!’ to her. Huh. Yeah. I wish. I am far too obedient to actively disobey her instructions, and she probably knows it. 😐

I am not appreciative of being forced to involve my mother. I am 18. A legal adult, dammit! If this is what happens when it is witnessed I am struggling, then forget it! My life is full of sunshine and rainbows and fluffy bunnies so there is no need to involve my mother. Kthx.

Well. Given that my parents visited me in hospital post overdose, I suppose they already know the worst of it anyway. Which is far more than I ever wanted or intended them to know. Bah.

6 thoughts on ““You’re bringing your mother along.”

  1. I can relate to A LOT of what you said in this post. Firstly, I just want to say that I’m glad you are not being chased from your blog. Way to stand up for yourself! Secondly, it’s not so bad being in therapy. At least I don’t find it that bad. I expect to be receiving some sort of psychological or psychiatric treatment until the day I die. I’m just too unstable without it. Also, the stuff with your parents– I feel your pain. I HATED it when Shrinkiepoo made me have family sessions. I just want my parents to, excuse me, get the fuck out of my business! I hope your session with your mom will be tolerable. I don’t think it was very fair to just spring it on you like that, however.

    Stay strong.

    Wishing you well,
    NOS

  2. Could you call Dr T to talk to her about taking your mother, and say that you would prefer not to as you don’t feel comfortable with it? As you said, legally you are an adult, so are under no obligation to involve your parents, despite what your psych/therapist wish, but obviously it is better to discuss it with them.

    And long term in psychotherapy terms refers to anything that isn’t short term, time limited (for eg CAT is 16 sessions, CBT is usually short term). So you don’t need to panic over it. It doesn’t mean you will be in therapy for the rest of your life – it probably just means they think you need more than a short term, time limited therapy like CBT or CAT.

    xx

  3. You are right, you are legally an adult, and should get a say in whether your mum comes along or not. I must say I would have been very uncomfortable if either of my parents had attended any appointments with me.

    I must second NOS in saying well done for sticking to your blog and not letting any stalkers put you off. This is YOUR space and you deserve a place to speak your mind. And I also agree with Bippidee in that long term psychotherapy may not be as scary or as ‘long’ as the phrase implies. Try to take things as they come and see what happens.

    Hugs

    Sarah x

  4. Does it have to be your mother? Can you bring a different person, another ‘grown up’? As you rightly say, you’re an adult. But, sometimes a little grey hair goes a long way with professionals.

  5. Good on you for sticking your feet in the ground and keeping the blog going!

    As my T would say, “You always have choices.” I am really surprised she would just “spring” this on you. I’d be pissed too.

    I agree with what the others have said above too. Long-term psychotherapy just means it’s not a set number of sessions, at least in my mind. It was probably a suggestion to try and work at underlying issues instead of slapping you with a sticker and sending you on your way (my apologies to CBT lovers out there).

  6. I think you should get to say whether or not your mom comes to a session with you or not! Especially since you are legally an adult! Once I turned 18, my T had to get my permission to allow my mom to come into our sessions and also get my permission to be able to share anything with my mom. If you can, I would call your T and tell him that you are not comfortable with the situation. That is just not right for you to be forced in that way to bring your mom… I hope things work out for you.

    -Bee

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