New vs. Old

I’ve been pondering how I feel about G, the new psychologist I am seeing. Last post, I said that the session left me feeling high and dry. I don’t really feel as though I have a connection with her. She is nice though. She hasn’t done anything to upset or offend me, unlike when I first met Dr T. So what’s my problem with her? Perhaps it is just because she’s not GK, my previous psychologist.

Yes, GK did end up letting me down when she failed to make contact upon not showing up at our scheduled appointment a year ago now. But prior to that, I felt as though she cared. She was willing to go beyond the minimal service that my payment entitled me to. Even when I am desperate, I never ever reach out to ask for help. She knew this. So there were times when she would call me sometime during the week to touch base and ask me how I’m going.  When I expressed my concern that Medicare only subsidises twelve, maximum eighteen, therapy sessions per year, she took the steps to reassure and accommodate me. She consulted her boss, who gave her the okay to charge me less once I exceeded the eighteen sessions allowed per year.

I’ve also noticed that G talks less than GK and the school counsellor I saw. This makes me slightly uncomfortable because I’m not entirely convinced she knows her stuff if she cannot, or does not, share some of her insight with me. On the upside though, with all the other people I’ve seen, at times it has felt like they were doing the talking for me, to make up for my quietness and inability to express my thoughts and feelings. Perhaps if G is less of a talker, it means, well, I’m forced to talk instead.

Another point that is positive about seeing G is at the beginning of the session, she asks what has been happening during the week. This gives me the chance to bring up what I want to talk about, rather than let the psychologist talk about what they think should be covered in the session. Yes, I am so meek that I do not object to whatever topic the psychologist has brought up, and I do not raise what I want to talk about unless asked. G also says sessions with her are more talking rather than just CBT. Yay, no CBT, no CBT…!

Many people are resistant to change, and I am one of them. I need to remind myself that I have only had two sessions with G, we need more time to get to know each other. Initially when I met GK, I wasn’t entirely comfortable with her either. I wanted my old school counsellor back. With time though, I realised GK was much better. So maybe the same will happen with G.

In other news, the idiot first year co-ordinator emailed me asking why I haven’t turned up to class.

Dear BtF

Upon inspection of the lab. class register for Group 1 which commenced their classes last Thursday I have noted your absence from this class. As stipulated at O-day and the unit outline, attendance at ALL lab. classes for this unit is compulsory unless you have any mitigating circumstances for your absence. Could you please explain your non-attendance from your class last week?

Regards

__

This is the same guy who I emailed initially to enquire about my ‘Conditional’ course status. He never did get back to me. So my return email to him was short and sweet. Well… it was more short than sweet. 😉

Dear _

The reason for my absence is because I have been terminated from the Pharmacy course, therefore I am no longer taking the Pharm Chem unit.

Regards,

BtF

Not the most courteous of emails, but hey, at least I bothered to reply.  I am still bitter about being terminated in the first place.

I have been contemplating cancelling my psychiatrist appointment with Dr T, scheduled for this Friday. No reason, except that I just don’t really want to go. I never have cancelled an appointment before, with any mental health professional. But I just saw Dr T two weeks ago. After my appointment this Friday I have another one scheduled for two weeks after that. Is it really necessary to see a psychiatrist once a fortnight for one-hourly sessions like that? It’s not like I’m on a whole lot of medication, just one. An SSRI. And I already have my prescriptions. Furthermore, in the weeks that I haven’t seen Dr T, I have been having appointments with G. I have an appointment with G again on Tuesday. This means there will only be a three-day gap between my appointment with Dr T and my appointment with G. They practice in the same office and waiting room so I’m afraid one of them will see me and think, ‘What are you doing here again? Give the session to someone who needs and deserves more help than you do!’

Okay, so it was Dr T who suggested making once a fortnight appointments. And last appointment G did give me the option of seeing her either a week later or two weeks later. I chose the latter. I just can’t get away from the feeling that I don’t need and deserve help, and having appointments this frequently is unnecessary.

I’ve been musing all week whether or not to cancel my appointment with Dr T. If I’m going to, I need to do so by tomorrow to avoid being charged with the cancellation fee. Ooh, decisions, decisions.

5 thoughts on “New vs. Old

  1. Maybe your relationship with G may get better as time goes on? These things can take time… It can be difficult to find someone you click with, especially where therapy is concerned, and it sounds as though you’ve had a real mixture of experiences so far.

    Agh that must have been so annoying to recieve that ignorant email.

    I hope things go ok with Dr T, if you decide to go.

    Sarah x

  2. It sounds like G has the potential to be a very good psychologist. I think the first couple of sessions with a new treatment professional is always hard because you are still feeling each other out. But I understand that change is hard as well.

    Wishing you well,
    NOS

  3. I think a lot of us consider (on a regular basis) as to whether or not to cancel an upcoming appointment. Have you been to the psychiatrist since you found out you were terminated from the program? Could that be why you don’t want to go? This isn’t going to be very convincing but it feel worse to cancel an appointment than to go. It also makes going to the next scheduled appointment even worse because you have to explain yourself.

  4. All uni’s are utterly useless, the left hand doesn’t know what the right is doing ever. Darn fools they are.

  5. i can really relate. i had such a bond with my old pyschcologist. i don;t relate to my new one in that way, i often wonder if i am getting anywhere at all. there is nothing wrong with him, he’s just not my old pysch. i really hope you start feel like progress is being made soon.

    http://doyourememberthattime.wordpress.com/

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