Psychiatrist Appointment III

My motivator: I need to go, I need to get my prescription, otherwise I will run out of my medication. This was my incentive to go see Dr T, my psychiatrist, today.

And so, I find myself back in the waiting room of her office. Except this time, I’m not the only one waiting to be seen. This time, there are three other people. A mother, waiting for the conclusion of her daughter’s appointment with Dr T. Two females, perhaps another a mother-daughter couple, waiting to see the clinical psychologist who also practices in the Specialist Center. Incidentally, this is the same psychologist Dr T is wanting to refer me to. Thus, I was able to catch a glimpse of who she is, what she looks like. She seems nice. Friendly. Middle aged, not too old and not too young. I could imagine myself feeling comfortable talking to her. Despite the fact that upon dialing her number to enquire about making an appointment and leaving a message, she never did call me back.

On the commencement of our session, Dr T asks me whether I have been taking my medication. Yes. Yes I have, daily, 10mg as per instruction, no overdoses, no underdoses, I have been compliant. She enquires about any side effects. No, not really… She asks whether I have felt any positive effects yet. Umm, I’m not sure… No, unless you count feeling numb and devoid of emotion as ‘positive.’

I am questioned as to whether I have made an appointment with the psychologist yet. Umm, no, not yet… If I recall correctly, you told me you would follow it up with G why she failed to return my call? Judging from her question and the fact that my phone has stayed silent, I’m guessing she has forgotten. It has now been twenty five days since I first made the phone call to the psychologist. Yes, I counted. I’m thinking I should call her a second time. Simultaneously I am hesitant, talking on the telephone fills me with anxiety and fear. I loathe making phone calls. Furthermore, I don’t want to seem bothersome or pushy by phoning up to request an appointment yet again.

An hour of seemingly pointless conversation about my parents, about my friendships and social anxiety, about why I overdosed in April, and we reach the end of the session.

Dr T then writes me a script for the Lexapro. She tells me she is increasing the dose from 10mg and from now on wants me to take 20mg daily. Oh. Okay then. Last appointment she told me she was going to keep me at a low dose of 10mg for now and there was no need to increase the dosage just yet. I wonder what changed her mind?

I have my next appointment with her in a month’s time, and then two week gaps thereafter. I heard the girl before me making an appointment for every couple of months. Err, can I see you that [in]frequently?

7 thoughts on “Psychiatrist Appointment III

  1. Bothersome or pushy is good. I spend a lot of time at work sending emails to people to get their attention and get them to do stuff. Politely persistent works wonders. they know I will always be nice, but I will not go away.

    The problem is that very many people, including professional people with years of experience, are unable to organise their way out of a paper bag. I keep meticulous track of who phones or emails me and when I need to respond, but most people don’t.

    So you have to keep pushing. Really, people do not mind. Not unless you call every 15 mins or doorstop them like you work for the Evening Standard.

  2. I know seeing a psychiatrist can feel daunting at times when you don’t know them well. It could be that she felt that you were still showing signs of depression, which is why she put your medication up. There is one thing I hate though, when they forget what they told your last time or what they were supposed to do for you. It feels like you aren’t being listened to. Anways, hope you are doing okay.
    *hugs*
    Sarah

  3. Wow, I can relate to pretty much everything you have said in this post. Antidepressants make me numb and emotionless, not happy (were they supposed to make us happy or just not depressed?).

    I think the psychologist you called probably lost your message/number and that’s why she hasn’t called back. I’m sure if you call again she will return your call.

    I hope all is well!
    NOS

    bloggernos.blogspot.com

  4. Cassie, I also share your phone fear. I don’t know anyone else with it! Are your sessions supposed to be like mini-therapy sessions everytime? I’m curious, because sometimes mine are like those, and other times they are short – say 15 minutes.

    • Yeah, I think my current psychiatrist spends an hour with each patient at their appointments, so they’re like therapy sessions everytime. An hour seems a bit long to be spending with a psychiatrist though, I think appointments with my previous pdoc were shorter.

  5. It is alway very disconcerting when therapists don’t follow through with what they say they’re going to do. And it’s even worse when they just plain forget. But it happens all the time. Sometimes it makes me mad because I’m left wondering what is actually important to them, obviously the integrety and dependablity to follow through. But I’m being negative.

    I hope things work out in this situation for you. It sounds like the psychologist might be nice. Sounds like she seemed to look nice anyway. Maybe it will be a good match. I’m currently therapist shopping so I know how hard it is.

  6. it really doesn’t sound like you are getting the support you need. your pyschitrist should follow up the pyschologist appointment for you. she knows what issues you are dealing with, it is her job to support and keep you safe.

    is it possible to see anyone else ? do you have a friend or family member who could accompnay you to appointments to explain that your messages are not being returned ?

    i am so sorry they are making this more difficult than it has to be.

    http://doyourememberthattime.wordpress.com

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