‘You’re not going to like it’ says the GP. No I’m not liking it. I’m hating it.
What am I not liking? Being pushed into doing things I do not want to do in order to supposedly help myself. My instinct is just to run the other way. Run away now…!
Because the psychiatrist appointment is quite a while away, he wants to keep a close eye on me in the meantime. I had an appointment with him on Saturday, had an appointment with him today on Wednesday and he asked me to make an appointment to see him again the coming Monday. That is three appointments in less than two weeks. That’s way intense and feels like overkill to me…
For the next five days before I next see him, he wants me to
-Do an hour of walking everyday. There is scientific evidence in supporting that exercise is good for mental health, according to him…and my old school counsellor I saw in Year 12. However, I have an extreme dislike of exercise.
-Eat three meals a day. He might find that my definition of a meal differs to his definition of a meal, but sure, I will eat three meals a day. My definition of a meal that is.
-Take 3 capsules of fish oil a day. And how much is that in milligrams…? I don’t like to ambiguity of ‘one capsule.’ Plus, I am unable to swallow tablets or capsules…unless they are mini sized. Fish oil capsules are huge. So unless I can find some liquid version (ewww) that doesn’t taste too bad I’m afraid that I may be non compliant on this one. Hmm. I don’t even know what good taking fish oil tablets are meant to do…?
Seems like I have taken to denying any want to hurt myself despite what I am really thinking. Any thoughts of self harm? Nope, none indeed…
Seeing a GP to be treated for depression makes me realise just how much I miss seeing a psychologist instead. From my first experience I decided that I preferred psychologists and counsellors to GPs and psychiatrists. While the GP I’m seeing now is better than the GP I saw before, this experience has not changed my mind.