After all the comments and a Facebook message telling me to get checked out, I wasn’t completely convinced. I feel fine now, I didn’t even take that much. Thanks though for your concern, don’t feel like I deserve any of it.
I rang the Poisons Information Centre anyway, told the guy exactly what and how much I took. Said to go to the hospital to get checked out and not just to a normal GP. Then ‘good luck’ and hung up. And how the fuck am I meant to get to a hospital in the first place? Nobody knows what’s going on. I don’t have anyone who could transport me to a doctor. I’m not telling my parents, ‘Yeah, I kinda took all these pills I wasn’t meant to and now I need to get to a hospital.’ That would go down really well. And I can’t drive, I failed my driving test three times already so it’s not like I can get myself to a hosital or even a GP. I wouldn’t have the guts to go by myself anyhow. Besides, everything’s closed today, it’s Good Friday.
I guess if I’m fucked and I fucked my own body up, so be it, I deserve it. That seems to be society’s view these days anyway. It’s your own fault for smoking and developing lung cancer, it’s your own fault for fucking up your organs from doing drugs, it’s your own fault for being an alcoholic and damaging your liver. And it’s my fault for doing whatever I’m doing to my body. Meh. I’ll be fine anyway, just like the other couple of times I’ve done this. Fine, fine, fine and dandy and fine.
I’m just scared, I don’t know what to do anymore.