So N & S called an ambulance on me. Paramedics arrived at my door step. Mum answered the door. I went to meet the paramedics. They didn’t really know why they were there, just that a friend called because I had taken pills and alcohol. I told them I had, two days ago. They asked if I had any effects from it. I said that I slept for about 18 hours and that the Poisons Information Centre told me to go to a hospital. They said that I had to be careful with things like paracetamol. So because I seemed fine, they left. I’m sorry I wasted their time.
Was left to deal with the aftermath with my parents. So now they know that I took paracetamol with alcohol. I can’t even begin to describe how much they do NOT understand about mental illness and depression. They don’t understand that I cannot just snap out of my depression and be happy. They don’t understand how hard it is not to harm myself when I’m upset, angry or frustrated. They don’t understand that it’s not that simple to just eat more. Honestly, they just make everything worse.
What I don’t understand actually is why they refuse to take me to hospital. I told my mother that I rang the Poisons Info Centre and they told me to go to hospital to get checked out. Yet they wouldn’t take me.
They did however say that they would take me to a GP tomorrow. I don’t go to GPs often and so the last time I went to this GP I was 11 years old I think? I hardly remember if he was nice or not, if he’s someone who I’d want to go to for mental health issues. But I don’t know any other GPs. I know going to the GP is something that should be done, but I am so not a fan of GPs after that experience. I might just look for a GP myself and hope that luck is on my side.
Looks like I won’t be needing headspace after all, seeing as I will be going to the GP to get referred to a psychologist. Again. Headspace actually called on Tuesday but I was at work so couldn’t chat. They said they would call on Wednesday but never did. They don’t have to now I guess. This is not what I wanted though, my parents knowing. With them paying last year, I felt pressured to recover as they were the ones spending the money on my therapy. That sort of pressure does not help me and just makes me feel worse.
Gosh it’s been a long day, my head hurts. Hating life right now, all this is too overwhelming.