Again, ARGH

Today. Again. The same thing happened where one of my mum’s friends said that I’ve become fatter. This time it was a female friend of my mother’s who said that she can see it in my face that I’ve gained weight. She said it in Indonesian to my mother. I don’t know if she realises, but I CAN understand and speak basic Indonesian.

I had the same reaction, I went into the toilets in the shopping center we were at, and cried.

If two people say the same thing, it MUST be true. I’m fat, I’ve gained weight and people can tell. Swollen salivary glands from purging must have contributed to it too… In actual fact, I’ve pretty much stayed the same weight this past year, give or take a couple of kilos.

What makes it feel worse is that after all the restricting, purging and the usage of laxatives, I’m still aparently fat and have looked like I’ve gained weight.

I already feel like a failure for not passing first year Uni and having to repeat a couple of units again this year, being told I look fatter makes me feel like even more of a failure.

Oh how I love that Asians are so direct and tell it straight to your face when you’ve gained (or lost) weight.

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