Family Portrait

Tomorrow morning. With my family, my grandparents, aunty and my aunty’s family.

Don’t want to go take this family portrait at all. Going somewhere to have a family portrait done, where we are dressed up nicely, only happens once every few years. So you want it to look good and you want to look stunning, right? These photos are going to go up on our wall for display for a few years at least.

Well because of my insecurities about my body image, I am convinced that I will look…fat. And that I will have ‘chipmunk cheeks’ from purging.

I don’t want to look at the photograph when it comes out and then get upset over how fat I think I look. Which is what happened when I looked over some photos that I took with friends recently. I noticed my legs, my waist…and what I noticed was nothing positive. Funny thing is, I’ve looked at these exact same photos before and my attention wasn’t even on my body size, I was focusing on the fun that was captured on camera. Must be the combination of the dread that I am feeling over this family portrait we are taking and my low mood this past week that has caused my body image to go downhill.

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