I feel like I’m being pathetic and I just bring up the same old issues. Over and over again. Even here on my blog, I feel like I keep repeating my thoughts over and over again.
I don’t know if I want to change. I do, because I hate feeling like this and I hate these ways of coping. But it seems too hard and I just…don’t feel like I want to put the effort in. Even though I know I have to in order to be able to recover.
I’m terrified that my parents, my psychologist, my psychiatrist are all just going to give up on me. Because I’m not improving or I’m not trying hard enough. So I just want to give up on myself before others give up on me. Because it would hurt so much more to have others give up on me.
Anyways. Today I read an article in a magazine about depression. There was a small story in there which tried to put the point accross that you should tell someone about it. The story said that a few months ago, a 16 year old American learnt her Facebook friend in England was in distress after he posted an alarming update. She told her parents who rang embassies and police accross the globe. All they had was a name but they found him in time, he had overdosed but survived.
Which made me think of a post I had made previously, Where is the sympathy?. This just further illustrates that people who post distressing Facebook status updates shouldn’t be ignored and shouldn’t just ‘shut the f*ck up about their shit lives’ like one of my Facebook friends suggested. If he didn’t post that update or if his friend had just ignored him, his life might not have been saved.