Depression

I know now that I have it. My psychologist said so today.

To be honest I don’t even identify myself with it anymore. I dunno. Depression just seems so…common? Cliche?

I used to think I had it. In Year 8 when I was crying everyday. But things got a bit better since then, although things weren’t great at least I wasn’t crying every single day and feeling as horrible as I was.

It confuses me actually. When I saw the school counsellor last year she said I didn’t have depression.

But now my psychologist says I do?

And I feel like I’m doing the same as I was last year.

I feel like I’ve been doing the same for a long time actually.

Which means that I must have had depression for a long time too then?

But I don’t feel like I do. I’m not unhappy ALL of the time, when I’m with friends I’m not unhappy. I’m thinking that there’s been worse times in my life so therefore I don’t have depression.

Usually if someone says I have something I go do all the research I can on it and try to find others who can relate, have it too etc.

But I’m not doing that right now.

Because I’m not sure I even have it.

And really I just can’t be stuffed anymore. So over everything and my head hurts.

off to sleep now.

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