*PT-ED* Got a call…

…from my psych today. She rang to ask how things were going and to to inform me about what’s happening. Last week when I saw her she told me she had sent a letter to my psychiatrist so that he knew I had been seeing my psych and that I needed to make an appointment with him to get another six sessions. Then today she said that she actually spoke to my psychiatrist on the phone and told him about what has been going on…the SH, the purging and taking the paracetamol tablets.

I’m pretty relieved about that actually. It means that he is actually aware I am going to make an appointment to see him sometime and I don’t have to explain everything to him if he’s already heard it through my psychologist.

I’ve put off making an appointment to see the psychiatrist for a week now. So on Monday I need to make myself ring up his office.

GK asked me whether my parents go with me when I see Dr__. They do, unfortunately. The last two appointments I’ve gone in first then I go out while my parents talk with him. GK let me know that if my parents do happen to request to see her (I hope not), she can’t say no because I’m a minor still. But with her I would be in the room when she talked to my parents.

I don’t know what I prefer. How about…neither? Which is another reason why I want to be 18, besides being able to go clubbing, buy drinks and all.

For Pharmaceutical Chemistry RB and I are researching the drug citalopram. Which is an SSRI. RB has asked me, ‘How do you know it’s an anti depressant?’ and said something along the lines of ‘You know a lot about SSRIs.’ Ummm well yeah, if your doctor wanted to prescribe you an SSRI and you had to decide whether you wanted to try them or not, you’d probably do your reasearch and find out as much as you could about them too. But of course I didn’t say that and I just gave some other reason for knowing about SSRIs.

Now that I mention it, I have a feeling that my psychiatrist is going to try and prescribe me an SSRI again. Last time when he suggested trying meds, my mum didn’t like the idea of it so I didn’t end up trying it. I remember him saying that it’s better to take meds because it possibly means a faster recovery, combined with counselling. And now that he’s heard from my psych that I am still SHing, purging and I ODed on paracetamol, I feel like he’s going to be thinking, ‘Ha, I TOLD YOU that you should have tried the meds. You decided to not take them and look at where that has gotten you.’

I still don’t think I need them though. I dunno, my moods just vary. If I get low then things do get bad and I do tend to hurt myself more in various ways. But when things are okay I feel fine, like now, and I don’t feel that I need meds.

I dunno if any of you do read my blog, but if you do and you’re on an SSRI, do you feel that it has helped you? Or given you side effects? Or anything you want to share about your experiences with taking an SSRI?

I’m a bit more informed now though, after researching on it, asking others and actually studying pharmacy at Uni. Last time I didn’t ask my psychiatrist about any possible side effects. My mum did and apparently he told her there are none. I doubt it though.

My Mum gave me a lecture today about eating properly after I admitted I didn’t have lunch. Although I DID have breakfast and ate a sandwhich and I genuinely was full from that. She said, ‘Your eating habits have become so weird lately. You’re going to get sick this way if you don’t eat. Even those of us who do eat are getting sick.’

I know 😦 But that doesn’t make it any easier.

I did eat lunch a couple of times this week though, so, better than no days this week. Partly because my friends always comment on me not eating. If I’m not eating they joke and say ‘Aren’t you eating lunch today? Don’t you get hungry?’ And when I say I had breakfast, they say, ‘Yeah, but that was BREAKFAST.’

Then if I am eating lunch it’s ‘OMG you’re eating lunch today! Wow.’ But then they go, ‘You’re only having the salad? That’s so small.’

Still an improvement from no lunch at all. Still a step I guess.

It doesn’t bother me that much but I think I’d prfer if they didn’t comment everytime I don’t eat luch and make a song and dance about it if I do.

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