…a really skinny girl at Uni today. I know you can’t really assume that someone has an ED, some people are just naturally skinny. But this girl that I saw seemedunnaturally skinny so I am thinking that she may have an ED. I felt so sad for her. Going through an ED is HELL. Yet I can’t help wanting to be as skinny as her. Being average isn’t enough for me, I want to be noticeably skinny. I just can’t help thinking that I would be happier if I was skinnier.
I am just so sick of crying over my body size. Of comparing my body to others I see around me and getting jealous when I see others who are skinnier than me. Of pinching my arms, poking my stomach and feeling my legs and wanting to be less fat. of looking at myself in the mirror and seeing someone who needs to lose weight.
I hate that I just keep eating and then I end up b/p-ing. Feel so disgusted with myself. It seems like eating has become a way to cope and then when I eat, I feel like I have to get rid of it.